“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” – Napoleon Hill
You only get to keep what you give away. And I’ve learned, over and over, that when you give knowledge away by teaching others, that’s when you truly start to learn. I didn’t grow up knowing that. I was trained by the world, a world that says: take what you can, protect yourself, win at any cost. That kind of thinking got me nowhere fast. Our culture is selfish, it’s almost more normal to believe that taking leads to success and happiness than giving.
Humans are naturally selfish. I didn’t see that clearly until 2009 when, as part of my recovery from drinking, I had to write a moral inventory. Every night I asked myself: How much did I think about myself today? How much did I think of others? At first the answer was brutal, 100% of the time I was thinking about me. Even when I thought about others, it was really about how they made me feel. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
This is the biggest problem with most self-help books: they teach you to be more selfish, not more selfless. But true purpose and true happiness only come through service. What’s the point of building a legacy, a business, or even a career if it’s just to serve your own selfish desires? How much more fulfilling is it to build something others can succeed in, to leave behind more than just your name?
That truth hit me like a freight train at Bay Area Recovery Center in Dickinson, Texas. I was in my early twenties, beat up in every way, black eye, no job, no car, no home. I’d lost everything to drinking and the party lifestyle. A nightclub bartender who drank as much as I served, I was useless as a monkey trying to sell bananas. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, I was wrecked. All I had was a Bible, a Big Book of the Recovery Program, and a few broken guys around me.
One night a man stood up, sober for years, and said something that made no sense to me at the time: “Whenever I wanted a car, I helped someone else get a car. When I wanted a job, I helped someone else get one. When I wanted a home, I helped someone else find theirs.” It sounded backwards. But something in me knew it was the truth. He wasn’t talking about networking or manipulation. He was talking about service, that if you want to keep anything good in life, you’ve got to give it away first.
That’s the whole idea behind the Twelfth Step of the Recovery Program: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” That wasn’t a suggestion. It was survival. If I wanted to stay sober, I had to help someone else get sober. And I wanted it, bad. My father was an alcoholic. My grandfather died from it. Most of the men in my bloodline were taken by it. If I didn’t break the chain, it was going to take me too.
So, I started sponsoring young men, walking with them through withdrawals, shame, and family wreckage. I sat in coffee shops and parking lots at 2 a.m., listening and guiding, sometimes with barely more sobriety than they had. But here’s what happened: every time I gave away what I was learning, it stuck deeper in me. Every time I pointed out something in them, I saw it in myself. Teaching them taught me. Their stories mirrored mine and kept me grounded. It refined me. Sharpened me. Humbled me.
That same principle is how I lead my company today. I mentor young men in business not because there’s some payoff in the spreadsheet. I want to build a place that feels like a second home. My job is to fall in love with people’s problems and help them find solutions, not talk down to them, not get onto them, but guide and teach. The reward isn’t financial, it’s spiritual. I get to watch people grow. I get to teach them how to be men, how to own their mistakes, walk with integrity, treat people right, and believe they were made for more.
Wealthy business owners get a bad rap, seen as arrogant, selfish, unapproachable. And yes, some are. But usually those are second-generation kids who never built anything. They serve money, not people, and it eats them alive. A true entrepreneur, the kind who starts with nothing, cannot survive with that selfish mindset. He’ll be miserable, his team will be miserable, turnover will be high, and loyalty nonexistent. Because when the only purpose is money, you’ve already lost. A company’s goal may be to make money, but its deeper moral and spiritual purpose must be to serve people. Effective leadership recognizes that its highest calling is the service of others.
Servant leadership isn’t just a slogan for me. It’s survival. It’s how I lead. It’s what God calls me to do. Nothing I have, my sobriety, my wisdom, my business, is mine to keep. It’s all been given to me, and it’s meant to be given again.
I’ll be honest, sharing this isn’t easy. Part of me still wants to look polished, professional, untouchable. I don’t want people to know about the black eye, the treatment center, the shame. But I share this because I know someone out there is where I was. And if my story can be a lifeline instead of a secret, then I’ve done my job.
This is leadership: carry the message. Help others. Leadership isn’t about clinging to what you’ve built. It’s about giving it away so others can rise. That’s not weakness it’s the path to real success, the kind that outlasts titles and bank accounts. When you carry the message, you give people more than opportunity you give them purpose. And that’s how legacies are born. Not in what we keep, but in what we release into the lives of others.
The Core Issue:
If giving back is so rewarding, why don’t more leaders do it? Because it’s harder to be selfless than selfish. Deep down, we fear that if we give too much of our time, knowledge, or resources, we’ll weaken our own position. That’s the scarcity mindset whispering, “Protect what’s yours.” Pride adds to it: “I paid my dues, so everyone else should too.” But fear and pride only isolate us, leaving our teams underdeveloped and our leadership insecure.
The Principle:
Sharing the wealth isn’t about charity, it’s about purpose, success, and legacy. The truth is simple: you rise faster by helping others rise. Success that isn’t shared dies with you. Success invested in others outlives you.
The Mindset:
Fear says giving will drain you, but the opposite is true. Every time you pour out knowledge, encouragement, or opportunity, it multiplies, not just in them, but in you. The leader who hoards shrinks their influence. The leader who gives away multiplies it.
The Bottom Line:
Greatness doesn’t come from guarding what you’ve built. It comes from carrying the message, lifting others, and turning your platform into a force for good. That’s how you move from self-preservation to purpose. That’s how you leave a legacy.
Practical Action Steps:
Knowing the truth is one thing; living it out is another. Here are some try-this-week challenges to help you carry the message and share your wealth:
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- Mentor with Intent: Pick someone you see potential in, at work, in your circle, or in your family. Take them for coffee. Ask about their goals. Share one hard-earned lesson. Then stay available. Your time and attention may be the most valuable wealth you have to give.
- Open Your Playbook: Let someone in on a “secret” you normally keep to yourself, a habit, a process, or a strategy that’s helped you succeed. Show them how you do it and let them run with it.
- Shine the Spotlight: In your next meeting or conversation, elevate someone else’s idea. Back it, encourage it, and help them own it. When you give away credit, it always finds its way back.
- Give Something That Costs You: Whether it’s money, time, or skill, part with something valuable this week. Don’t just give the leftovers. Stretch yourself and watch how giving expands you, not shrinks you.
Try just one or two. You’ll be surprised how fast the return shows up, not just in results, but in purpose.
Grounded Wisdom:
At the heart of Business Commitment #9 is this: we rise by lifting others. Helping others doesn’t dilute your success, it amplifies it. Every breakthrough I’ve had in life came because someone carried the message to me. Now it’s my turn to carry it forward.
Your success becomes significant when you use it to build others. Money, titles, accolades, those fade. The lives you touch and the wisdom you pass on echo long after you’re gone. We all face the choice: pull the ladder up behind us, or extend a hand. I choose the hand. That’s legacy. That’s leadership at its finest.
Brutally Honest Self-Reflection:
- Am I holding back because I’m afraid there won’t be “enough” if I share?
- When was the last time I mentored or helped someone without expecting a return?
- Do I measure success only by numbers, or also by the people I’ve helped rise?
- Do I celebrate others’ wins, or secretly feel threatened by them? – What principle do I preach but not yet fully practice? Sit with these. They’re not easy, but they’ll tell you the truth about where you stand.
Final Word:
Leadership takes courage, the courage to believe that giving doesn’t diminish you, it multiplies you. The humility to admit that whatever we’ve achieved came because others invested in us. And now it’s our turn.
Imagine a generation of leaders who aren’t guarding their turf, but sharing their wealth, knowledge, networks, opportunities. That’s how you change industries, communities, and lives. Your business becomes more than profit; it becomes a beacon.
So, step out and share boldly. The highest reward of success is the opportunity to pass it on. Your finest hour as a leader won’t be measured by what you amassed, but by what you gave away.
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